5 tips on how to speak confidently in front of anyone

A simple conversation is more complex than it may seem In the first moment.

On the one hand, it is necessary to take into account what is said, since it is not always easy to translate thoughts into words, and on the other, you have to pay attention to how the other person reacts, what he says and what ideas and messages his speech. All this happens at the same time, in real time, and it must be combined with the decisive influence of non-verbal language. verbal, capable of making our words have a totally different meaning depending on the context.

This makes some people prone to doubt and show insecurity when conversing with others. In these cases, some advice on how to speak with more confidence always comes in handy.

• Related article: "Public speaking and overcoming stage fright, in 8 steps"

Speak confidently: 5 very useful tips

First of all, it must be taken into account that adopting a communicative style that expresses greater security is a task that involves many psychological functions. This means that there is no magic solution to radiate charisma overnight. However, with a little practice and perseverance, it is possible to notice very significant changes in the way you we express ourselves... and also in the way the people we talk to react to us.

So that, To speak more confidently in front of all kinds of people, real training is necessary., which implies that limiting yourself to reading and internalizing ideas and concepts is not very helpful. The tips that you will read below have to be put into practice, out of theory, to help you in your social relationships. With that said, let's move on to the tips.

1. Train eye contact

The simple fact of avoiding eye contact predisposes us to adopt a submissive role and let the other person take the reins of the conversation. Therefore, it is good that at first you focus on the task of avoiding those moments in which the gaze wanders from one side to the other as long as it does not meet that of the person who has in front.

However, the trick is not to stare into the pupils of our interlocutor obsessively, but simply in paying attention to the moments in which this "disconnection" occurs in order to correct them or, at least, control them. This last nuance is important, because it is not necessary to maintain eye contact in an uninterrupted manner in a rigid manner, although it should predominate.

When you notice that you are looking at the other in a way that is too "artificial" and unnatural, just widen your visual attention span and look not at his eyes but at his face as a whole; that way, even if you don't realize it, the exchange of glances will be much more spontaneous.

• Related article: "Why is it sometimes hard to look someone in the eye?"

2. project your voice

It is better to do this exercise alone, so that later, when applying it to real conversations, it is only necessary to modulate the tone, since a good part of this pattern of movements of the mouth and neck muscles would have already been learned.

To do this, it is good to combine the rehearsal alone with the imagined visualization. Close your eyes, imagine a real conversation context, and modulate your voice until it takes on a quality that expresses assertiveness and self-confidence. The more vivid the scene, the better.

3. Improve your articulation when speaking

There are people in whom insecurity when speaking is due to small speech defects. Noticing them, you try to mask them by speaking low and keeping a generally low-key profile. If this is your case and you think that these defects are very pronounced, you can consider going to a speech therapist. If you think they are not very pronounced, worth practicing on your own.

This is another task that you can perform alone. To do this, at first you must "warm up" the muscles of the mouth, and then speak in an improvised monologue, paying attention to small pronunciation errors. Remember the words in which you have missed and try to reproduce approximately the sentence in which they were included until you pronounce it correctly. This task can be boring, but correcting the articulation helps prevent insecurity.

On the other hand, keep in mind that everyone makes mistakes quite often when it comes to speaking. Therefore, do not be obsessed with these errors if you think that their frequency of appearance is comparable to that of other people; in fact, the interlocutors tend not to pay attention to them and automatically “fill in” the gap with meanings that in theory these imperfections should produce.

4. distance yourself from the situation

Virtually all of us have the ability to distance ourselves from the experiences we live in the here and now. This means we do a slight emotional disconnect regarding what is happening. It is something similar to what happens with derealization, a psychological phenomenon by which we have the sensation that the place in in which we are, some people or living beings, or the context in general, are parts of a set, something that does not mean too much.

So, when you notice that in a conversation you can show a significant degree of insecurity, try to distance yourself, assuming that the person who talks to you, although they are still human, is not so important in spite of everything, nor is it essential for you to continue living. Their opinions about you are of very relative importance., and also has a very limited and imperfect perception of who you are. It is an exercise that is also common in the world of actors and actresses, in which the fear of ridicule is combated.

• Related article: "Depersonalization and derealization: when everything seems like a dream

5. work your self esteem

If you want to go beyond the specific problem of insecurity when speaking, it is good that you work to improve your self-esteem. There are different methods for this, although Going to the psychologist can help you a lot. when planning training programs and belief modification, monitoring your progress and monitoring problems that may arise.